Accountant  Jokes Here's a joke from the little lady herself: "What are the funniest words in the English language? "Certified public accountant!" Note from the Editors: We don't get it either. But we suggest you laugh. To help, here are some actually funny jokes about accounting and auditing... A businessman tells his friend that ... A fellow is walking into a hospital ... A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer ... A woman walks into her accountant's office. Accountant: "Doctor, I just can't ... An accountant is having a hard time ... An accountant is someone who ... How many accountants does it take to ... My accountant told me that ... Old accountants never die. They just ... Q: There are three kinds of accountants ... Q: What do actuaries do to liven up ... Q: What does an accountant use for ... Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant?... Q: What's an accountant's idea of ... Q: What's an actuary? ... Q: What's an extroverted accountant? ... Q: What's the definition of an accountant?... Q: What's the most wicked thing... Q: When does a person decide to become ... Q: Why did God make actuaries? ... Q: Why do some accountants decide to ...